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Moving from Disconnection to Connection

Updated: Feb 15, 2022

How well do you know yourself? Do you know how to listen to your intuition, your instincts, and you body? Do you feel connected to your true self or do you feel disconnected?

Where the disconnection began.

I was inspired by an interaction I had with someone who defies labels. He said that "we were wiser as infants than we are as adults." I think this may be true for most people. Because, as infants, we were a perfect expression of just being, and we knew instinctively what we needed. We felt our feelings and let them out, shared them with the world. We knew when we needed food, when we needed sleep, when we need stimuli and when we needed calm. Hopefully, our parents or caregivers were intuitive enough to give us what we needed. But what if we didn't get what we needed? Our expectations changed, our inputs changed. That's where the disconnection began.

As children, we still knew how to just live in the moment. We wanted to play, explore our world, use our imaginations, and test our limits. We wanted to find out all about how to be human and enjoy it.

But what happened? We weren't allowed to trust our instincts, our intuition or to listen to our bodies. We were told what to do or what not to do by well-meaning adults who thought that was what we needed.

We were told to finish our plates, even if we were no longer hungry or told we had to wait until a certain time to eat even if we were hungry. We were told things were too dangerous instead of being able to test our own limits and learn to trust our own instincts on what was too dangerous (surprisingly, most kids won't do anything too dangerous if left to their own decision. Accidents happen, but that's how we learn.) We might have been told not to cry or let our feelings out, especially if we were in public. We were put in time-out or harsher punishments for expressing the emotions of an unmet need.

We were taught to obey our parents. Then we were put into school where we were told we had to obey the teacher or suffer the consequences. We went through an education system that wanted us to memorize things instead of fostering creativity, curiosity or letting us express our true selves. We had to follow the rules even if they were arbitrary or contradictory and didn't make sense to us. We had to listen to and obey adults, even if they were hypocritical.

For most people, we were rarely allowed to listen to ourselves or given the opportunity to live in a way in which we could follow our creativity, follow our instincts, or listen to our bodies. This is where the disconnection continued.

Then as adults, we either grew up people-pleasers or rebels or some combination perhaps. We wonder why we are indecisive, ridden with anxiety, depressed, overweight, sick, exhausted, living on autopilot in a life we don't even stop to question if we like or if we're happy.

Or maybe you know you are unhappy and you are ready for a change.

Moving to Connection

So how do you return to a place of connection after being so disconnected?

You need to get to know you.

You need to make yourself your priority. Go within, spend some quality time just sitting with yourself with no distractions. What do you love? What do YOU really love without anyone else's influence? What do you want? Really want? If it were just up to you and not anyone else? How do you want to be? Who do you want to be? What steps can you take to make that happen today?

Change your habits by adding one thing you love everyday. It can be anything. But it has to come from you, not anyone else. What will make you feel better and learn to love yourself? Here are just some ideas of where to start. With me, it started with sitting in the sun every morning.

  • Morning sunlight.

  • Meditating without any particular goal.

  • Breathe.

  • Go for a walk barefoot.

  • Spend time in nature.

  • Try a fruit or vegetable you've never tried before.

  • Cook a delicious meal with intention and love.

  • Eat a delicious treat but really savor every bite, eating only as much as you can truly enjoy.

  • Journal.

  • Dance.

  • Drum.

  • Play.

What inspires you? What do you find magical and beautiful?

Find one beautiful thing in your life everyday. Fall in love with yourself, fall in love with life again.

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